We'll have ourselves an old fashioned contest!

On April 1st we'll kick off the Asstastic 2009 Spring Decathlon!! Uptight can participate in Iraq, and finish out the contest back home for a June 30th finish. We'll award gold and silver medals to the first and second place winners for each event at a medal ceremony in July.

All eyes will be on Uptight, Valley Girl and The Fonz as they race to earn a permanent spot in the Old Friends ranks. Only thing we know for sure is where Chivas would cast her vote if she could...

The trials are as follows:

1-Eye of the Tiger - Most days of exercise logged

2-Kitchen Sensi - Highest # of meals made at home

3-Rapacious Reader - Highest # of pages read from books

4-Social Savvy - # "that's what he/she said" comments said in front of 2+decathletes

5-Undesirable Bravado - Decathlete who wore worst outfit to in person work meeting attended by at least one decathlete, with photographic evidence.

6-Mucho Sexy - Highest # of references to one's "workspace" in conversation in front of at least two other decathletes.

7-Keen Powers of Observation - Best cell phone photos of random, unknown people.

8-Exceptional Brand Loyalty - Highest # of unique Trader Joe's products eaten.

9-Good Christian Virtues - # of consecutive days without alcohol

10-Old Friends Rush - Most lunches / happy hours with at least two Old Friends earns a permanent, coveted spot in the Old Friends ranks with MDiddy, Awesome and Chivas

And we're off! :)

We will marvel at Uptight's psychic powers

So, Chivas was minding her own business like she always does on one sunny afternoon when she saw a little dove knocking on her window with its beak. Chivas, being an animal lover, immediately opened the window and discovered that the dove had a delivery for Chivas. Intrigued, Chivas proceeded to unroll the little strip of paper as the dove merrily flew away, happy that it had now met the hottest woman on the planet.




WHOA! How did Uptight find out that Chivas is pregnant? Uptight's psychic powers freaked out Chivas at first, but she soon regained her composure. Then, warm and fuzzy feelings emerged as Chivas smiled, thinking that her old Dad had not given up on her - that he'll one day return and give her the hug and affection she had always longed for. And guess what? Maybe he'll hug his grandchild as well. Now THAT's a thought Chivas shall cherish for a long time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeMYNhZ4kyE

I will continue to create poetic history...

Ode to Awsome's Craiglist entry......

Sofa of Robin

Clean as White Winter Snowfall

Buy It or You Fool

Passage to encourage all to appreciate New Dad's greatness

Vivi's New Dad Rocks

Humble...Flexible...and Smart

Andrew better Run

And finally for those who have turned jealous green...

Waymond Fears New Dad

Words that Call Vivian Hot

He Must Not Smile.

I will write songs and poetry for my ladies!

Da Da Na Na Na Action Awsome! Da Da Na Na Na
She's an action woman! Shee needs to see and be seen!
New York's too small...L.A.'s too small....
Da Da Na Na Na Awsome Action! Da Da Na Na Na.



Vivian is hot
The bright Sun does not compare
Must wear sunglasses